The 24-Hour Rule That May Help You Save Your Leadership
No one outside your company knows the turmoil that occasionally goes on inside your business. Don’t let your emotional reactions reveal it to them.
When I was in college, I was a member of the school’s Division II hockey team. I played a bit my freshman year, but ended up finding a role in coaching/management because my skating was below par, having not really started until, well, a few months before college.1 To utilize my expertise, our coaching staff put me in charge of most off-ice activities, eventually naming me the team’s general manager in my sophomore year. In addition to helping with strategy and personnel, one of my key duties was to be the conduit between our team and the league where we played (made up of 12 schools across the region). To say that the team became second only to my studies is probably a lie – it usually came first, to be perfectly honest.
But as a 19-year-old, I often struggled to contain my emotions on both ends of the spectrum. The highs of a big win would see me celebrating wildly. The disappointing losses would result in me staring at the ground for an entire trip back to campus, wondering what went wrong. On top of that, I often allowed the emotional aspect of the sport to affect my relations with others in the league that I interacted with on a regular basis, specifically the league’s president, commissioner, and head of officials. More than once, I would fire off an angry email to someone after I believed our team was treated unfairly – a bad call by an official, an opposing team whose players or fans went over the line with regard to our players’ or fans’ safety, and so on.
One time, I combatively criticized someone’s handling of the league’s finances, accusing them of pocketing money that came from the various schools’ participation fees.2 Around that time, our team faculty advisor called me into his office to chat. During a very long, but very friendly discussion, he suggested I begin utilizing the “24-hour rule” that he used regularly. In short, he said, when anything happens that pisses you off, wait 24 hours before acting upon it. If, after a full day, you still feel the same, then go ahead. Though certainly not easy, I took his words to heart, improved upon myself, and by my senior year was a much better leader and had garnered much more respect amongst those on the team and around the league.
Fast forward many years, and now I’m running multiple businesses. If you think running a business brings you less frustration and anger than overseeing a college hockey team, you’d be quite wrong.3 Whether it’s dealing with customers, vendors, suppliers, employees, or even local officials, business ownership has a heck of a lot of curveballs to throw your way. Early in my management career, I would certainly be subject to those same highs and lows that I experienced in college – but over the last decade I’ve worked on keeping an even keel during the ups and downs that our company experiences. I’m not always successful, but it’s a work in progress.
There are many ways to combat these ever present emotional obstacles, but the most effective one I always rely on is the 24-hour rule. Don’t get me wrong, it’s extremely difficult to drop something for an entire day, especially when it has to do with the operation of your business. I’m not someone who likes leaving things for the next day. Other people dream of hitting inbox zero, whereas I’m always at inbox zero. I’ve also been told by those close to me that I have a very strong sense of justice – nothing pisses me off more than seeing someone treat another immorally, whether it’s my company, one of my employees, or anyone else close to me. And if you’re in business, you know that there is always someone acting immorally. Some of them even become quite wealthy in this country.4
It’s incredibly easy to fire back an angry email when someone says something infuriating, makes a bad decision, or just does something stupid. The problem is, almost all of us believe that we know what someone else is thinking. In Talking to Strangers, Malcolm Gladwell writes, “We think we can easily see into the hearts of others based on the flimsiest of clues. We jump at the chance to judge strangers.” Someone accidentally overcharged you? They must be a thief. Someone made an error? They must be incompetent. Someone misunderstood your last email? They must be a liar. In our own minds, everyone else gets boiled down to single adjectives or quick judgments. Which is odd, because, do you think of yourself that simply? I know I don’t. “We would never do that to ourselves, of course,” Gladwell continues. “We are nuanced and complex and enigmatic. But the stranger is easy.”
The 24-hour rule helps distance yourself from those kinds of follies. Everyone knows the phrase “Sleep on it.” Because a night’s sleep literally resets your brain. How often have you been angry about something, and then the next day you’re a bit more rational about it? It doesn’t make the feeling disappear, but it often helps you see it a bit more clearly.
This tactic also helps protect against your own emotional ups and downs. If someone happens to anger you when you’re already having a bad day, you’re much more likely to jump down their throat, which may have some pretty negative repercussions. Just like trust can take years to build and only seconds to demolish, positive feelings from others to you can similarly vanish in an instant of bad decision-making. All the years of political capital that you may have garnered could be all for naught. “Declarations of a fixed opinion, and of determined resolution never to change it, neither enlighten nor convince us,” Ben Franklin once wrote. “Positiveness and warmth on one side, naturally beget their like on the other.” Someone causing a problem for you one or two times may make you want to call them a four-letter word. But remembering their complexity and letting time pass allows you to act more appropriately.
Perhaps most importantly, the last thing you want to do in business is make others think that you are not in control of your own company. No one outside your company knows the inevitable turmoil that occasionally goes on inside your business, just like it does in any business. Don’t let your emotional reactions reveal it to them. The building could be metaphorically on fire, but unless you make it known to everyone you do business with, they will likely never find out. Most of the time in business, perception is all that matters.
One other tactic I’ve found helpful before, especially when I couldn’t wait 24 hours to handle something, is to write a letter and “put it in a drawer.” That means open a Word document and write exactly what you want to say to someone. Format it, proofread it, and do everything you would normally do except send it.5 Read it out loud. Maybe read it again an hour later. Then delete it. Almost 100 percent of the time, you will have succeeded in cooling your temper just enough to act rationally when it comes time to respond for real.
If nothing else, you can also utilize your anger in a more productive method. Save certain tasks that require a more heated energy for when you feel this way. Then, when something inevitably frustrates you, you can channel that fire into a task that needs doing. As Winston Churchill once said, “Anger is a waste of energy. Steam which is used to blow off a safety valve would be better used to drive the engine.”
There are few management lessons I actually learned in college.6 Most of them I learned on the job and from others I worked with. But this one has understandably stuck with me for over 15 years. It’s a lesson that I always try to share with others, so we can all better ourselves as co-workers, leaders, and business owners.
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The running joke was that if hockey was played standing still, I’d have been among the best on the team. Ice is slippery, though.
In fairness, I had a good amount of evidence, but that’s besides the point.
Also, what on earth are you doing at Main Street Mindset?
I’m not naming names, but you pick your favorite. Or least favorite, as it were.
Do not, and I cannot emphasize this enough, write the draft letter in your actual email client. Muscle memory might cause you to accidentally send it when you’re done writing. I wouldn’t know this personally…
As much as I loved my school, classes, and professors, academia has a ways to go to properly prepare you for the real world.
Alan, you were always smart. After reading several of your columns, I'm compelled to add that you're also wise!